All posts by Colorado Springs Mediation

The Marital Fight That Never Ends

The Walkers have been married for 70 years. When asked the secret to their marital success they replied that they have only ever really had one fight, although that fight has lasted the entire 70 years! Many couples will have at least one unresolved issue that seems to be the root cause of most arguments. It is also difficult to see what you are doing wrong and may lay all of the blame on your partner. In these cases one partners efforts to fix things may actually make things worse. The key to fixing the root issue is communication.

Key Takeaways:

  • Many couples have that one thing they will fight about throughout the span of their relationship and can create a viscous cycle of fixing.
  • Distant pursuit viscous cycle is when one person wants to spend more time with their partner than their partner wants to spend with them.
  • Try to keep an open dialogue, create more time for each, try new things, and give the gift of love.

“One of the principle reasons certain perpetual problems persist in relationships is that most people are quite good at seeing how their partner is causing problems, yet not so much themselves.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-two-shall-become-one/201709/the-marital-fight-never-ends

3 Signs You’re In A Bad Relationship

If you think you may be in a bad relationship these signs an help you decide for sure. It is not always as easy to tell as it should be. If you are fully entrenched in a situation your perspective may be off. Sometimes it takes an outsider to help you see the truth. If you are in one you need to then decide if it’s worth working on and how to go about this.

Key Takeaways:

  • If you’re partner is trying to control you, it’s better to leave.
  • Don’t throw a relationship away before working on it.Focus on the positive, not the negative. If all else fails, leave.
  • If you’re always unhappy around your partner, consider leaving.

“Life is too short to waste time on someone who is not good for you.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/more-chemistry/201710/3-signs-you-re-in-bad-relationship

Divorced? Here’s What You Need to Know About Social Security – Madison.com

Social security can be tricky. There are different rules for different groups of people. You need to know which apply to you and which don’t so you don’t accidentally break a rule. This tells about the rules for those who get divorced. This affects many since the divorce rate is so high in the United States. When a marriage ends there are many financial issues to address, and social security is only one of them.

Read more: Divorced? Here’s What You Need to Know About Social Security – Madison.com

10 Telltale Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Wedding Planners

In the article “10 Telltale Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Wedding Planners”, published by the Huffington Post on September 29, 2017, we read ten different encounters of wedding planners who are inclined to believe the weddings that they helped created are ill-fated. From cranky bridezillas, uninterested grooms, and even hostile future in-laws, the article touches on the bad and the ugly that were behind the scenes of these couples special day. It will likely not be one they forget.

Key Takeaways:

  • Being a bridezilla is no excuse to be verbally abusive. Work out toxic habits in the relationship before the wedding.
  • If a spouse makes wedding decisions behind your back, this is a recipe for disaster. Make sure you are on the same page about the choices you make way before and after the wedding.
  • Make sure your parents are respectful towards your spouse, this could cause a hostile environment. Address issues as they happen Set boundaries with in-laws
    way before the wedding.

“I do believe it’s extremely risky to spend money you don’t have and go into debt over your wedding before you even start a life together. Starting a marriage with $50,000 of debt is a recipe for disaster.”

Read more: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/this-is-how-wedding-planners-know-youll-get-a-divorce_us_59cd7955e4b05f005d333001?section=us_divorce

My husband wants our house in our divorce, half my 401(k) and is hiding his assets – MarketWatch

Divorce can get nasty with money involved. Couples want half of everything when they split. The woman doesn’t always come out on top either. Men can also demand half of assets. Sometimes there is a fight over who gets things like the house as well because both parties want it. There is usually a court case to determine who gets what if an agreement can’t be reached. The whole process can lead to hard feelings.

Read more: My husband wants our house in our divorce, half my 401(k) and is hiding his assets – MarketWatch

Your genes could determine whether you’ll get divorced one day – Cosmopolitan.com

Our genes hold the code for what we will become. There are many things which are determined by them. Apparently one of these may be divorce chances. This is a novel idea because if you have an indicator that you might be divorced it could make you think differently about marriage in the first place. Maybe you wouldn’t want to try it, or maybe you would but you would work harder at making it work.

Read more: Your genes could determine whether you’ll get divorced one day – Cosmopolitan.com

The Marital Fight That Never Ends

There are usually fights in a marriage at least occasionally. It doesn’t have to be that way but often is because people just don’t know how to communicate. This is why so many marriages end in divorce. You have to be willing to work on things together and many have a hard time with that. It takes compromise and work. Sometimes working on it feels like its own fight. This one is worth it, though, in most cases.

Key Takeaways:

  • The fights in a marriage may may not be so much about the various issues involved, but rather who is in control of the issues.
  • All married couples have differences, and some of them were influenced by the families they came from.
  • Honest, open dialogue is the key to resolving marital disputes.

“One of the principle reasons certain perpetual problems persist in relationships is that most people are quite good at seeing how their partner is causing problems, yet not so much themselves.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-two-shall-become-one/201709/the-marital-fight-never-ends

How to relaunch your life after a divorce – New York Daily News

Making time for yourself, allowing time to heal, is one of the most important things that you can do for yourself when it is time to rebuild after a divorce. If you try to take things too quickly, it is going to only set you back more. You can relive life, even date again, after you’ve gotten divorced, and if you do things the right way, you can be happy and successful at it, as many people havae proven.

Read more: How to relaunch your life after a divorce – New York Daily News

Everything You Need To Know About Starting Over After Divorce

You likely won’t find anything else more stressful than divorce, but this isn’t to say that it is not something you cannot put behind you so that you can move on and get a new life going. But, there’s many things to remember if you want to move on and start over after you have divorced. The truth about divorce and starting over is shocking to some, but nonetheless important to know if you want to do things the right way.

Key Takeaways:

  • Divorce is long and incredibly stressful even for strong people.
  • The process is an emotional roller coaster but you just have to ride it through to the end.
  • Eventually you will feel better, create new memories, and see the opportunities provided by it.

“You have to close your heart to memories with your ex and look forward to creating new ones with your family.”

Read more: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/start-over-after-divorce_us_59bfdb84e4b0edff971dd05d?section=us_divorce

3 Relationship Compromises You Should Never Make

Relationships are an ongoing effort, and as such, require compromise. Even so, a healthy relationship has a few key items on which you should never compromise: You should always be honest about who you are, including beliefs, traits, goals, dreams, and even flaws. You should provide and expect respect from your partner — disrespect shows a lack of empathy, and will introduce weaknesses into your relationship. Thirdly, be open and clear about your sexual needs, desires, and even history. Sexual compatibility is important, and can only be achieved when all partners communicate.

Key Takeaways:

  • Some couples may be tempted to make compromises between one another. But experts argue that a relationship compromise is not the move that they want to make either.
  • Negotiating is a sure sign of a healthy relationship between people. Pay attention to bad signs that can affect the relationship between two people.
  • Follow some guidelines for how a relationship compromise needs to happen for people. The young couple may or may not be ready to make these changes over time.

“Being able to negotiate and find compromise is often a sign of a healthy relationship.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201709/3-relationship-compromises-you-should-never-make