All posts by Colorado Springs Mediation

A Simple Tool For Greater Relationship Satisfaction

A relationship is never easy to mainaitain but if two people are willing to make it work any thing is possible. Relationships are about understating each other’s needs, communication, love and trust. However, these things seem hard to find or to do when times get rough. This article lists a couple of ideas to help people in a relationship. It mentions how birds of a feather flock together, meaning hanging around other couples like yourself to either help you tell whether or not you want to be together.

Read more: A Simple Tool For Greater Relationship Satisfaction

Psychology Meets Divorce: You Think You’re Helping, Do You?

Divorce can be hard psychologically. It hurts to lose a partner. Life changes for you in a big way. You have to change the way you live. Finances will also change and that can be stressful. Not all people in the field can help you, though. It depends on the person and on their approach obviously. If you are feeling bad after a divorce you may want to seek help but don’t worry if the first person you find doesn’t work out.

Key Takeaways:

  • Most lawyers are out for blood and want to win over the well being of the mental state of their client.
  • There is a better way to approach divorce. Taking the time to talk it out and have open communication will work out better in the end.
  • The author clearly knows what their talking about. The article really hits home with someone that has had a similar situation that worked together to get through it.

“It never ceases to amaze me that people regularly contend that they can’t enter into a facilitative approach because they’re in conflict with each other, can’t communicate with each other, and don’t trust each other.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/you-think-youre-helping-do-you_us_591622aee4b00ccaae9ea2b6?section=us_divorce

3 ways parents can protect their children during a divorce – New York Daily News

Experts say that when getting a divorce, parents needs to keep their children completely neutral. One of the worst things you can do is try to make the child chose sides, which is essentially saying “I like mom/dad more than dad/mom”. It hurts the child’s ego and can confuse them for life. They also say children should be kept blind from divorce proceedings and not know about the court cases. Lastly, children should know that parents love them no matter what they do.

Read more: 3 ways parents can protect their children during a divorce – New York Daily News

6 Prevalent Myths You’ll Hear About Divorce

Couples going through a divorce often find themselves inundated with well-meaning, but not always accurate advice from people around them who are anxious to help. Here are some of the most common myths we’ve uncovered surrounding divorce with the real story on concerns such as “Will I have to go to court?”, “Who gets the house and kids?”, and “What about my common law marriage?”. Bottom line? When in doubt, always seek the advice of an experienced solicitor.

Key Takeaways:

  • There are a lot of myths about divorce that many people assume to be true.
  • Even if a spouse has moved out of the house or their name isn’t on the mortgage, it could be considered an asset.
  • Not all divorces have to go through costly litigation, some divorces are completed through mediation.

“It can often seem that the husband always gets the raw end of the deal, only being allowed to spend time with the children every other weekend and at various weeks during the summer.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/six-prevalent-myths-youll-hear-about-divorce_us_598ae90ae4b08a4c247f26da?section=us_divorce

Trying to Help People Help Themselves Can Be Challenging

In this very thought provoking piece, Mark Baer, succinctly laid out the case for mediation over litigation. In the article, Mark makes the case that at the crux of most cases is the issue of trust. Having a trusted, unbiased party, that can provide a judgment in a non-binding manner, can be very helpful in not only settling intractable positions, but can potentially keep deals together that are in danger of falling apart. In summation, Mark Baer, espouses the value of mediators allowing parties to have civil and productive discourse without the combative nature of true litigation.

Key Takeaways:

  • In conflict, many people give up and take themselves out the process of mediation too quickly.
  • Many of our natural instincts in conflict are adversarial and negative rather than productive and positive.
  • Mediation tends to be more economic, stresses opposing parties less, and more efficient than litigation or other methods of ending an argument.

“For what it’s worth, regardless of what I say and what type of information I provide, I rarely hear back from those individuals whose responses numbed me long ago.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/empathy-and-relationships/201708/trying-help-people-help-themselves-can-be-challenging

How I Learned To Navigate Dating As A Widow

In this article, Debbie Weiss, a widowed lawyer, gives advice to people who may be considering dating after losing a spouse or significant other. She warns people that the advice to get out in the dating scene is not a perfect solution for everyone going through this situation. First, you must consider how you have been coping with your grief and loss, and you need to decide what your goals are for your next phase in life without your partner. Dating after losing a significant other should not be taken lightly, as you risk both hurting yourself and your date.

Read more: How I Learned To Navigate Dating As A Widow

Individualism Goes Global: More Live Alone, Value Friends

Individualism has gone global and more people are living alone and value their friends. This is not only true for the United States, it is true for most people in the world. For a long time, there has been a steady move away from family ties and more people are going out on their own to make their own way. Self expression and personal choice are two things that are a part of this change.

Key Takeaways:

  • Individualistic people tend towards an appreciation of the individual, with a preference for bonds based on personality, rather than abiding by age-old collectivism and bonds based on heritage.
  • While these types of people are not uncommon in western society, studies are showing them to be popping up worldwide.
  • To arrive at their conclusion researchers poured through 51 years of written material, encompassing 78 nations.

“The finding of a trend toward valuing friends over family is especially noteworthy, at a time when traditional ties such as marriage and family continue to be extravagantly celebrated and rewarded, even in some of the wealthiest nations.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201707/individualism-goes-global-more-live-alone-value-friends

A Feminist Critique of Marriage

The current concept of marriage is attributing a weaker skill set towards women. Throughout the course of humanity and all the way through today’s world, an implied stereotype of the woman being a nurturing human the man being the dominant presence has been established. This is emphasized even more so with the way weddings are emphasized today. The practice of weddings doesn’t represent the equality that women deserve. It puts them on the perpetual stereotype that they are trying to dismantle.

Read more: A Feminist Critique of Marriage

Katy Perry Really Doesn’t Want You To Send That 2 A.M. Text To Your Ex

Katy perry was talking about how you should avoid, as an example of how to manage a relationship, sending an angry text at 2 am to your significant other.
In general the point she was trying to make is that it’s better to take the time to think about it than to do something in the moment that you’ll later regret.
There were also song lyrics in the article related to what she was talking about.

Read more: Katy Perry Really Doesn’t Want You To Send That 2 A.M. Text To Your Ex

9 Signs You May Have Fallen For A Narcissist

There are 9 signs that you may have fallen for a narcissist. A narcissist may often seem like the perfect partner at first, until they are not. It is very easy to fall in love with a narcissist and it is hard to figure out that they are a narcissist at first. Maintaining a relationship with someone that is a narcissist is a very hard thing to do. Emotional detachment is one warning sign that you are with one.

Key Takeaways:

  • Despite appearing to have an investment in building up their partner’s ego, those with narcissism, are innately selfish, expecting quid-pro-quo and withdrawing if it does not appear.
  • Because they can be trendy, charismatic cool and willing to take charge, people with this profile often make a good first impression.
  • Overtime, however, a full-blown narcissistic personality shows signs of extreme ego, entitlement and self-absorption.

“It’s easy to fall in love with a narcissist: They’re charming, exude self-confidence and shower you with compliments and attention, at least in the beginning.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/uh-oh-youre-in-love-with-a-narcissist_us_5938725ce4b0c5a35c9bb533?section=us_divorce