Category Archives: Commentary

4 Ways To Bring Self-Esteem to Your Romantic Relationship

The online version of a psychology magazine has published a guide to maintaining esteem for oneself while involved in a relationship. The person should establish her sense of identity, with her likes and dislikes well defined. She should not always defer to her partner in decisions, keeping to her position if she feels she is right. She should not be totally dependent on her partner, and should have interests and friendships outside of the relationship. She and her partner should do physical things together.

Key Takeaways:

  • Knowing and communicating your likes and dislikes can you have a better relationship and improve self esteem.
  • Having a fulfilling life outside of your relationship can help bolster self esteem and improve relationship satisfaction.
  • Exercising with your partner can boost self image and improve happiness within your relationship.

“When self-esteem is an issue, caving and deflecting become ways to manage conflict.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201705/4-ways-bring-self-esteem-your-romantic-relationship

3 Relationship Behaviors That Are Non-Negotiable Dealbreakers

Written in this article are three behaviors that should not be tolerated in any relationship. If you experience any of these you should get out as fast as you can. The first is obsessive control. You are your own person and should have freedom to be such. The second is emotional manipulation. You should not be made to feel guilty or shamed. The final is excessive aggression. Fights happen they are part of any relationship. When it is all you do or becomes physical it is time to get out.

Key Takeaways:

  • Unreasonable aggression is not acceptable. Everyone gets upset but you should not be threatened or worried about physical harm in a relationship.
  • You should not be emotionally controlled or manipulated. You are your own person and should be able to express yourself.
  • Obsessive control is a deal breaker. From what you wear to who you hang out with should be your choice.

“While you may think that emotionally shutting down is much better than outright physical or verbal abuse, this is actually a form of mental terrorism at it’s most insidious.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/3-relationship-behaviors-that-are-totally-non-negotiable_us_5903898ce4b084f59b49f8b4?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

You Don’t Appreciate Her Yet, But You’ll Regret It When Someone Else Does

A news website has a feature about breakups. The writer is the author of a book about this topic. She writes from the point of view of a man who took his significant other for granted, and now misses her after she found another man. The writer talks about how much the woman put into the relationship, her rejection, and her giving up and moving on. She then writes about how sad the man is feeling now that it is too late. An link to the book is included.

Key Takeaways:

  • You will be lonely and wish you did things differently when she is gone.
  • Communication is key she does not know what you are thinking if you don’t tell her.
  • She will find someone that loves her and makes her feel special. Do it yourself or someone else will.

“She doesn’t ask for attention, yet she gives you all of hers.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/you-dont-appreciate-her-yet-but-youll-regret-it-when_us_59073f17e4b03b105b44ba5b?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Daughter’s Thank You Letter To Single Mom Brought Them Both To Tears

This is a touching story. Being a single mom is hard work and takes a great deal of sacrifice so children never have to go without what they need. Children don’t often realize this until they grow up and have their own children. It’s nice to see this mother being appreciated by her daughter. It is definitely easy to understand while she got emotional. It was a very moving situation and she surely felt good.

Key Takeaways:

  • A girl named Gina finds a special way to thank her single mother for raising her alone.
  • As this single mother listens to her daughter express her gratitude in a written letter, both are brought to tears.
  • Despite the challenges she faced while raising two children, this single mother admits to doing it all “out of love.”

“Parenting is often a thankless job, but that’s especially true when you’re a single parent and doing it on your own, without the support of a partner.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/crying-at-this-letter-to-a-single-mom_us_590ba371e4b0104c734d68ae?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Can You Divorce Your Family?

The online version of a psychology periodical has a piece about negative relationships within the family. These relationships resemble divorce. The writer details three types of dynamics. One involves a family member being treated as an outcast. Another involves a child turning away from a parent, with or without encouragement from the other parent. This may happen in divorces. The third is a separation from a family member, perhaps due to abuse. The writer states that while there is hope for reconciliation, separation may be good in some cases.

Key Takeaways:

  • Being the black sheep makes you not want to be part of the family. Who wants to feel unwanted.
  • Estrangement occurs when a family member limits contact. This can be due to a number of reasons. But distance is placed.
  • Communication is the key with everyone involved. It is the lac of, type of or to much communication that drives a family member away. Communicate your needs.

“Recent research reports that 13.4 percent of parents are alienated by at least one of their children.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/conscious-communication/201704/can-you-divorce-your-family

Pediatricians can help children through separation and divorce – The Chronicle

Divorce is hard for many. This is especially true for children. Their world changes. They have to deal with losing one parent’s full-time presence. They also have to deal with possibly being uprooted if their custodial parent decides to relocate. Pediatricians can help children deal with these issues and with the problems they cause. They can cause both emotional and physical problems. Stress can manifest physically. That’s why getting a doctor involved can help so much.

Key Takeaways:

  • Pediatrician help parents understand their child’s emotional and mental response to divorce.
  • As the child grows their thoughts and feelings change. Having a professional helps you know how to handle this.
  • A set doctor helps with routine. Routine is broken which causes behavioral issues in kids.

“More than 1 million American children annually are affected by their parents’ break-up and may suffer emotional trauma that requires extra support.”

Read more: http://www.chroniclenewspaper.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=%2F20170129%2FNEWS01%2F170129997%2F0%2FFUNANDGAMES04%2FPediatricians-can-help-children-through-separation-and-divorce

Isolation: Why Everyone Who Goes Through a Divorce Experiences it – The Good Men Project (blog)

Divorce is hard on everyone to some extent. Isolation is one feeling that comes of it. We feel alone and it is very hurtful. This explains why isolation comes with divorce and why it can’t be avoid that much unless you stay married, and that is obviously not an option for everyone. The best thing to do is learn to work through it until it passes instead of trying to not ever feel that way.

Key Takeaways:

  • Forced isolation is caused by the judgments of others. It is easier to be alone than to be judged.
  • Social isolation is common because you have not been in the social arena for so long.
  • Personal isolation is needed to recover and heal. Break ups hurt and wounds take time to heal.

“People in personal isolation purposefully keep themselves at arms length from others.”

Read more: https://goodmenproject.com/divorce/isolation-why-everyone-who-goes-through-a-divorce-experiences-it-dg/

The 9 Craziest Things People Discovered While Googling A Date

Dating is a scary and exciting journey. Googling your date can reveal both good and bad things. It is common for people to find the date stole their profile picture. Hiding something is also common. Things that are revealed can be a DUI, marriage, criminal record or other dark secrets. Also sexual deviation preferences such as bandage can be discovered. Some findings are more humorous such as odd obsessions like Garfield themed bedrooms or super hero collection. Goodling a date is always a good idea.

Key Takeaways:

  • Googling your date may reveal a criminal past that you do not want to associate with.
  • Weird obsessions and collections can be found by googling your date.
  • Driving records can reveal DUI and other traffic issues. This may be a sign of a drinking problem.

“A quick Google search can leave you feeling as if you already know a person before you’ve even gone on a date.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-9-craziest-things-people-discovered-while-googling-a-date_us_5887d191e4b0b481c76ba755?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

The Emotions of Grief After A Breakup

Grief after a breakup is a normal emotion and should not be ignored or expected to be over soon. It’s a fluid state consisting of initial shock, followed by a lot of emotion and finishing with acceptance and reorganizing your life. You need to learn to deal with these phases in order to move on in a healthy way. Find an outlet, talk to friends or a therapist if necessary. Allowing grief makes it easier to heal after a breakup.

Key Takeaways:

  • Shock and disbelieve is the first phase of grief. It is hard to believe what just happened.
  • Devastation occurs once the reality of the situation set in. Pain is inevitable
  • You will go through a stage that you wonder what happened and why. You need to recharge yourself.

“If you are the person who did not see the breakup coming, the shock stage will probably last longer.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/getting-back-out-there/201701/the-emotions-grief-after-breakup

Small Things Often: How to Become a Relationship Master

An online version of a psychology magazine has a feature about how to maintain a relationship. The feature focuses on a person who specializes in relationships. This person’s point is that in relationships, one person often sends out a feeler or conversation point and waits for a response. Although the point may seem small, the expected response is not. A cold response may lead to a worsened relationship. The specialist points to a study he made which shows that couples who stay together respond to points 86% of the time, while those who do not have a one third response rate.

Key Takeaways:

  • The small details add up and become big issues over time.
  • Your partner will reach out to connect, make sure you are paying attention.
  • Emotional bids are used for one partner to try and connect with the other one.

“John Gottman has spent his career studying what makes relationships work — and what he has discovered is as practical as it is important.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-connected-life/201702/the-little-things-will-make-or-break-your-relationship