Category Archives: Commentary

The Marital Fight That Never Ends

The Walkers have been married for 70 years. When asked the secret to their marital success they replied that they have only ever really had one fight, although that fight has lasted the entire 70 years! Many couples will have at least one unresolved issue that seems to be the root cause of most arguments. It is also difficult to see what you are doing wrong and may lay all of the blame on your partner. In these cases one partners efforts to fix things may actually make things worse. The key to fixing the root issue is communication.

Key Takeaways:

  • Many couples have that one thing they will fight about throughout the span of their relationship and can create a viscous cycle of fixing.
  • Distant pursuit viscous cycle is when one person wants to spend more time with their partner than their partner wants to spend with them.
  • Try to keep an open dialogue, create more time for each, try new things, and give the gift of love.

“One of the principle reasons certain perpetual problems persist in relationships is that most people are quite good at seeing how their partner is causing problems, yet not so much themselves.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-two-shall-become-one/201709/the-marital-fight-never-ends

3 Signs You’re In A Bad Relationship

If you think you may be in a bad relationship these signs an help you decide for sure. It is not always as easy to tell as it should be. If you are fully entrenched in a situation your perspective may be off. Sometimes it takes an outsider to help you see the truth. If you are in one you need to then decide if it’s worth working on and how to go about this.

Key Takeaways:

  • If you’re partner is trying to control you, it’s better to leave.
  • Don’t throw a relationship away before working on it.Focus on the positive, not the negative. If all else fails, leave.
  • If you’re always unhappy around your partner, consider leaving.

“Life is too short to waste time on someone who is not good for you.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/more-chemistry/201710/3-signs-you-re-in-bad-relationship

10 Telltale Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Wedding Planners

In the article “10 Telltale Signs A Marriage Won’t Last, According To Wedding Planners”, published by the Huffington Post on September 29, 2017, we read ten different encounters of wedding planners who are inclined to believe the weddings that they helped created are ill-fated. From cranky bridezillas, uninterested grooms, and even hostile future in-laws, the article touches on the bad and the ugly that were behind the scenes of these couples special day. It will likely not be one they forget.

Key Takeaways:

  • Being a bridezilla is no excuse to be verbally abusive. Work out toxic habits in the relationship before the wedding.
  • If a spouse makes wedding decisions behind your back, this is a recipe for disaster. Make sure you are on the same page about the choices you make way before and after the wedding.
  • Make sure your parents are respectful towards your spouse, this could cause a hostile environment. Address issues as they happen Set boundaries with in-laws
    way before the wedding.

“I do believe it’s extremely risky to spend money you don’t have and go into debt over your wedding before you even start a life together. Starting a marriage with $50,000 of debt is a recipe for disaster.”

Read more: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/this-is-how-wedding-planners-know-youll-get-a-divorce_us_59cd7955e4b05f005d333001?section=us_divorce

The Marital Fight That Never Ends

There are usually fights in a marriage at least occasionally. It doesn’t have to be that way but often is because people just don’t know how to communicate. This is why so many marriages end in divorce. You have to be willing to work on things together and many have a hard time with that. It takes compromise and work. Sometimes working on it feels like its own fight. This one is worth it, though, in most cases.

Key Takeaways:

  • The fights in a marriage may may not be so much about the various issues involved, but rather who is in control of the issues.
  • All married couples have differences, and some of them were influenced by the families they came from.
  • Honest, open dialogue is the key to resolving marital disputes.

“One of the principle reasons certain perpetual problems persist in relationships is that most people are quite good at seeing how their partner is causing problems, yet not so much themselves.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-two-shall-become-one/201709/the-marital-fight-never-ends

Everything You Need To Know About Starting Over After Divorce

You likely won’t find anything else more stressful than divorce, but this isn’t to say that it is not something you cannot put behind you so that you can move on and get a new life going. But, there’s many things to remember if you want to move on and start over after you have divorced. The truth about divorce and starting over is shocking to some, but nonetheless important to know if you want to do things the right way.

Key Takeaways:

  • Divorce is long and incredibly stressful even for strong people.
  • The process is an emotional roller coaster but you just have to ride it through to the end.
  • Eventually you will feel better, create new memories, and see the opportunities provided by it.

“You have to close your heart to memories with your ex and look forward to creating new ones with your family.”

Read more: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/start-over-after-divorce_us_59bfdb84e4b0edff971dd05d?section=us_divorce

3 Relationship Compromises You Should Never Make

Relationships are an ongoing effort, and as such, require compromise. Even so, a healthy relationship has a few key items on which you should never compromise: You should always be honest about who you are, including beliefs, traits, goals, dreams, and even flaws. You should provide and expect respect from your partner — disrespect shows a lack of empathy, and will introduce weaknesses into your relationship. Thirdly, be open and clear about your sexual needs, desires, and even history. Sexual compatibility is important, and can only be achieved when all partners communicate.

Key Takeaways:

  • Some couples may be tempted to make compromises between one another. But experts argue that a relationship compromise is not the move that they want to make either.
  • Negotiating is a sure sign of a healthy relationship between people. Pay attention to bad signs that can affect the relationship between two people.
  • Follow some guidelines for how a relationship compromise needs to happen for people. The young couple may or may not be ready to make these changes over time.

“Being able to negotiate and find compromise is often a sign of a healthy relationship.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201709/3-relationship-compromises-you-should-never-make

7 Deeply Troubling Lessons I Learned From Being ‘The Other Woman’

When you are the other woman after an affair there are many lessons that you learn, whether or not you really want to learn them. And, those lessons are oftentimes painful and those who’ve been cheated on feel them intensely inside their hearts. You learn that being a mistress isn’t glamourous, and you learn that sometimes you do things that even surprise you. ANd, there’s so much more you will find that you learn after this situation.

Key Takeaways:

  • The mistress is a real person too with real feelings and they typically never have dreams of becoming a mistress it just happens
  • The author was able to find peace with herself and forgiveness from the wife but it still took a long time for her to heal from he guilt and pain.
  • It’s good to find out what your pain and pleasure ratio is in all aspects of life so that you know your limits

“Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Nobody is. You had to learn this lesson, now it may be time to move on and live your life.”

Read more: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/7-deeply-troubling-lessons-i-learned-from-being-the_us_59a5d922e4b08299d89d0a89?section=us_divorce

The Moment I Knew My Marriage Was Over

Many people knew the moment that their marriage was over. People were asked about the moment when they knew their relationship was over with their loved one. One lady was told she could not go to school once they had kids and she did not like that, so they ended up getting a divorce. Another person broke their foot and their loved one would not take them to the hospital because they were too tired.

Key Takeaways:

  • Infidelity, selfishness, disrespect and not feeling cared for are all common examples of how to end a relationship or marriage.
  • There is a moment when one just knows that the person they are with may not be the one they are supposed to spend their life with.
  • Relationships can end for a multitude of reasons. Just depends on the people and the things they value.

“We asked readers on Facebook and Twitter to share the moment they knew their relationships were over (hashtag: #themomentiknew) and collected the responses below.”

Read more: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-moment-these-men-and-women-knew-their-marriages-were-over_us_57b772fbe4b03d51368885b7?section=us_divorce

I Got Divorced At 37 And Never Expected What Came Next

Most people aren’t thinking about a divorce at the age of 37, but one woman shares her story of what it is like to go through a divorce at this age. But, she has far more to tell in her story. Her story has those unexpected turns but a happy ending when the day is done. From getting fired to perhaps a midlife crisis, this is what happens after you spend 12 years of your life with someone.

Key Takeaways:

  • Divorce at 37 can be the perfect timing to still have a new fulfilling life as long as you meet the right person shortly after.
  • After a divorce it’s good to get away for a bit to clear your mind but it doesn’t mean you have to completely change your life.
  • The author was still able to have children and a family even though they had already spent 12 years of their life in another marriage.

“After twelve years of what began as a romantic adventure but had started to feel like a Tom and Jerry cartoon, I thought perhaps I was too selfish to be a good partner.”

Read more: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/i-got-divorced-at-37-and-never-expected-what-came-next_us_55d2179ce4b07addcb4389da?section=us_divorce

Three Relationship Compromises You Should Never Make

There are 3 relationship compromises that you should never make. These bad signs are something that you really need to pay attention to. All long term relationships involve compromises between people. There are many negotiations that you need to make when you are in a relationship. You need to listen to the other partner and make them happy. But, one compromise you should never make is hiding who you are inside. Another thing is tolerating disrespect.

Key Takeaways:

  • Don’t hide any characteristics of yourself from your partner and take the time to talk with your partner about things that are important to you.
  • Develop a mutual respect and understanding of one another’s feelings during the argument.
  • Try to remain open sexually and discuss with your partner what your desires are in the bedroom so they are able to successfully fulfill your intimate needs .

“Being able to negotiate and find compromise is often a sign of a healthy relationship.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201709/3-relationship-compromises-you-should-never-make