Category Archives: Commentary

How Cupid’s Arrow May Save Your Retirement Plan

Falling in love could save your retirement plan because you’ll have two incomes instead of one if you live with your love. There are other positives to this as well. You can’t make yourself fall in love but if you happen to here is another benefit to it. Money is always a concern in your old age and so is loneliness. Any way to figure both of these problems out is going to help many elderly people.

Key Takeaways:

  • Divorce among people over sixty is on the rise. This trend is called “gray divorce”
  • Divorce can be costly for everyone involved. Assets are split and can change the tax laws of your assets.
  • Spend some money on flowers and date night and avoid divorce. This will save a lot of money.

“Divorcing has obvious financial consequences for both spouses: assets are split in half, two households need to be maintained, social security, pension and other benefits are reduced – to name just a few.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-branch-cfp/how-cupids-arrow-may-save_b_14635788.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce

8 Sh*tty Types Of Breakups We’ve All Experienced At Least Once

There is no easy way to break up with someone, but there are many bad ways to do it. Breaking up through text message is a horrible way that feels impersonal. Some people just leave without any explanation. Others say goodbye, but very quickly and then just leave. Sometimes people give an emotional public breakup. Timing is important, and some people breakup at the worst times, such as birthdays or holidays. Trying to slowly fade someone out of your life is worse than just sucking it up and breaking it off. Saying “it’s me, not you” is a classic just feels insincere. These are all bad ways to break up with someone.

Key Takeaways:

  • Being broken up with via text is cold. After being intimate such a shallow good bye hurts.
  • Being “ghosted” is the worst it leaves you wondering what happened and why things did not work out.
  • Excuses in a break up suck. Slowly going away or blaming being busy is a cowards way of avoiding the truth.

“Everyone has at least one tragic, hilarious, and/or awkward breakup story to tell. These oftentimes painful experiences are more universal than you might think.”

Read more: http://www.yourtango.com/2015284173/8-types-breakups-weve-all-experienced-least-once

How To Love Someone With Opposite Political Views

Many think you can’t love someone or have a good relationship with them if they have different political views but that’s not the case. You just have to know how to keep them out of things. Yes, it can be hard. Some people feel very strongly about politics and want to bring it up a lot. It doesn’t have to ruin a relationship but it will take work and compromise for it not to do that.

Key Takeaways:

  • When a couple has two different political views in a marriage it may cause one partner to feel they have to guard their point of view at all times.
  • After the recent presidential election arguments are more likely to occur. Constant executive orders, tweets, and cabinet appointments can cause friction when the couple has two different views.
  • Couples need to avoid treating their partner as a surrogate for the opposing party. Arguments are not going to affect the future of the country, but they will affect the couples’ personal future.

“Don’t look at your partner as a surrogate for his or her party’s candidate.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-love-someone-with-opposite-political-views_us_58a20ff8e4b0ab2d2b17e73d?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Divorcing and Coparenting With the Sociopath

Sociopaths are people who, at first appear charming and normal, but who soon reveal themselves to not be rational beings. They are manipulative, don’t accept responsibility for their actions, and often play the victim. Getting out of a relationship with a sociopath can be difficult. It is made even more so difficult when children are involved. There are things that can be done when trying to co parent with a sociopath after divorce that might make the task a little easier. First, you have to document everything. Second, you can’t allow for modification. you should also slowly let others know the situation as well as not get lost in the sociopath diagnoses. And of course keep putting the children and their needs first.

Key Takeaways:

  • Sociopath will do everything they can to keep the children from the other parent.
  • Sociopath will charm and sweet talk judges attorneys and social worker to gain the upper hand in parenting.
  • Sociopath will suck you emotional dry if you let them. Knowing what you are dealing with is important

“Living with a sociopath is traumatic and, too often, the parties present in court as equally sane, or the non-personality disordered spouse actually looks like the crazy person.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/getting-back-out-there/201702/divorcing-and-coparenting-the-sociopath

How To Love A Messy Person When You’re A Neat Freak

It can be difficult to be in a relationship when one person is messy and one is neat. Marriage counselors and people in such relationships have advice to keep things amicable though. First it’s important to resist the urge to lecture the messy partner. One should also allow the messy partner one room that is theirs to keep a mess. Google chore calendars are also helpful. As well as making a joke out of the situation. If you are messy try to reduce it a little. If you are neat try to have a sense of humor.

Key Takeaways:

  • Find a spot that is the messy persons that you agree to leave alone.
  • Making a joke about a tough situation can lighten the mood allowing for open conversation
  • Resist the urge to lecture the messy person. They won’t change from a lecture that they have heard before

“Instead of lecturing, focus on finding ways to address your different needs.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-love-a-messy-person-when-youre-a-neat-freak_us_58b6fe25e4b0284854b31ea2?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

What NOT to Do When You Discover Your Partner Is Cheating

A website for psychology has an advice piece about what not to do in the event a person has discovered her partner is having an affair. The adviser, a psychologist, offers five points. The first thing to do is not to panic, as that will make things worse for the betrayed. The second thing to do is to not to forget about one’s own needs. The psychologist counsels against hasty actions such as immediately suing for divorce. There were fifteen comments.

Key Takeaways:

  • There are 5 important things that should not be done after discovering infidelity in relationships.
  • Discovering that your partner has betrayed you by interacting with another lover can be managed to minimize adverse effects.
  • The five things not to do include 1) Don’t Panic, 2) Don’t Stop Taking Care of Yourself, 3) Don’t Tell the Whole World, 4) Dont’ Rush to Court and 5) Don’t Stalk.

“You can prolong the grief if you rush to act before you have emotionally processed what’s going on and what has gone on in your relationship.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201702/what-not-do-when-you-discover-your-partner-is-cheating

4 Little Secrets To Divorce-Proofing Your Marriage

Divorce has serious consequences especially when children are involved. 90% of runaways and over half of child suicides come from divorced homes. Ways to avoid divorces include not rushing thins make sure you are ready. Once you do say I do don’t give up who you are. Keep your individuality that is who your partner fell in love with. You also need to put effort into your relationship you should take care of yourself and still date your spouse this keeps the passion alive. If you are prepared and work at it a happy marriage is possible.

Key Takeaways:

  • Know going in that it is for better or worse. You will have good times and bad times.
  • Be committed to success. Think of how divorce will harm your children.
  • Half of marriages end in divorce in the first few years. Don’t be a statistic and put effort into keeping the passion alive.

“Keep the energy, passion, and newness in your relationship and avoid divorce dangers.”

Read more: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/charles-orlando/four-secrets-divorce-proofing-your-marriage-0

The 7 Most Common Mistakes People Make When They Get Divorced

Divorce can be an overwhelming process, and a lot of people going through divorce end up making mistakes that are easily avoidable. To avoid making mistakes that you’ll regret later, recognize that you’re in charge of the process, and you shouldn’t rely too much on your attorney. Be willing to compromise, and don’t take the process personally. Go into the divorce proceedings with an open mind and minimal expectations, and avoid jumping into a new relationship right away. Finally, don’t give up on trying to get a result that’s best for you.

Key Takeaways:

  • Learn from the good and bad experiences. Look for opportunities to grow.
  • Do not compromise. Know what you want and do not settle for less.
  • It is not all your fault. Don’t blame yourself that won’t change or fix anything.

“Too many people get hung up on their anger, resentment, and pain during the divorce process to focus on getting what they want. It’s all too easy to lash out when you, yourself, are in survival mode.”

Read more: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/laura-miolla/avoid-these-7-mistakes-caused-divorce-overwhelm

The Relationship Blind Spot That Could Tank Your Marriage

Pastor John Gray warns that a major relationship hurtle couples need to deal with is thinking that they can maintain their friendships without changes once they get married. Grey also beleives that opposite sex friendships especially will have to change. Grey posits that the spouse should take presidence over everyone. So even if you have a friend who is like family, if your spouse doesn’t like them, they have to be removed. He understands this is controversial. But its a point of contention he thinks should be removed from the relationship.

Key Takeaways:

  • Don’t assume you know how your partner is thinkin or feels ask.
  • Be carefull of being friends with the opposite sex. This can cause tension in a marriage.
  • Old friends do not take priority over marriahe. your spouse comes first.

“Deal with that blind spot, because that can became a very real point of contention later on.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-relationship-blind-spot-that-could-tank-a-marriage_us_58d2edc6e4b0b22b0d19a403?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Finding Treasure Among The Trash

There are things you can do after a divorce to give you perspective on the experience. Even it was a terrible experience there are treasures to be found. Even when there are moments when you think you won’t get through it, there are memories to hang onto. Like eating certain foods. Or going to the beach. Getting in contact with old friends. Smelling a certain scent. Taking up a hobby you had forgotten about. Whatever it is, it’s important to remember the small moments that make life worth living.

Key Takeaways:

  • life goes on. there will always be good times and bad times. Find happiness through all cycles.
  • Life rarely goes as planned. What you thought would happen rarely does. Enjoy the journey.
  • You choose weather you focus on the trash or find the treasure. Seek happiness.

“This year has taught me though that there is always treasure among the trash. There are always moments of happiness. It’s up to us to find them.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/finding-treasure-among-the-trash_us_58ebabe8e4b081da6ad00630?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce