Category Archives: Commentary

5 Ways To Make Small Gestures Count In Your Marriage

In order to stay married, and in love with your partner, it is up to each of you to do the small stuff that matters for one another. But, you must ensure that those small things count, like they should, rather than go unrecognized. Here, you can learn five simple ways to ensure the little things that you are doing to keep the love alive do not go unnoticed by the person that you love. These tips work!

Key Takeaways:

  • Studies bolster a consensus that it’s not the big gestures that keep couples going strong, but the small, important things, like cooking for your loved one.
  • The small, but important stuff, like picking up chores your loved one’s too bushed to tackle, are what writer, Eli Finkel, calls ‘lovehacks.’
  • Small, but great love hacks, include, using courtesy words, please, thank you, with your loved one, and carving out special time, even twenty minutes.

“Problems at work, financial pressures, or family drama can all push a couple apart.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/5-ways-to-make-small-gestures-count-in-your-marriage_us_59c05affe4b082fd4205b954?section=us_divorce

4 Tips For Dating After Divorce

Divorcees interested in dating might be interested in a recently published article by a divorce counselor. The counselor has four tips for dating again. The first tip is to get some counseling, or try to heal from the broken relationship. Otherwise bitterness might spill over to the next relationship. Other tips are to market oneself, be flexible about dating partners, and avoiding discussions about the ex spouse. The article has a photo of a couple out on a happy date.

Key Takeaways:

  • Make sure to join an organization or socialize with other single people when dating after your divorce.
  • Find some attractive traits in a person you are dating to see if you want to date that individual again.
  • Do not talk about your former wife or husband while out on a date with a person you just met.

“Dating can be a fun way to meet others and learn more about yourself.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/4-tips-for-dating-after-divorce_us_5923ad08e4b0e8f558bb297c?section=us_divorce

5 Lessons On Divorce

Divorce is not the same for every person, some women find it a relief and recover quickly, while other women find themselves delving into depression and sadness. Here are five lessons on divorce that women should learn to help them get through their recovery and come out better for it on the other end. These lessons will take you from recovery to empowerment. If you are having a hard time getting over a divorce, this article is for you.

Key Takeaways:

  • Its important to dismiss pervasively negative feelings when a marriage fails.
  • Remember that relationships don’t define who you are and you can make a positive future.
  • Family and friends will be more responsive to a positive outlook than a negative one.

“People get tired of seeing you moan and groan continually. You’d be surprised how many people will help when they see you trying to make it.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/five-lessons-on-diorce_us_593a9817e4b014ae8c69df79?section=us_divorce

Why My First Marriage Failed — And Yours Might Too

Preventing a marriage from failing is a continuous job. From the first time you meet each other, lives continuously change and grow in many different ways. Some are good, some are bad. The goal is to start out knowing yourself and each other and being able to change and grow with each other as the circumstances change. If you think only of yourself with your wants and needs, and never support your spouse with their wants and needs, a marriage will fall apart.

Key Takeaways:

  • Despite the axiom that opposites attract, compatibility, especially having a shared interest in similar activities, is a positive in a marriage.
  • A marriage is more likely to thrive with two autonomous individuals in love, not when one member begins to believe their main identity is that of spouse.
  • Long after tying the knot, it’s important to spend quality time together and find reasons to like, not just love, each other.

“The relationship was built more on lust than a true partnership”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-my-first-marriage-failed-and-yours-might-too_us_59710cdae4b00e4363de62d2?section=us_divorce

Artist Perfectly Captures The Intimate Magic Of Living Alone

For many people, living on their own can be a scary thing. That is why artist YaoYao Ma Van has set out to create new pieces of art that show that living on your own can be a positive thing. Ma Van has worked in the art industry for many years, however she decided that she wanted to create this art for herself. She explains that these beautiful works of art depict many scenes from her life before marriage.

Key Takeaways:

  • Yaoyao Ma Van, is a Los Angeles artist and young woman, who created a series of paintings depicting the joys of being on one’s own.
  • Literally drawing inspiration from her own home life, the artist created the pieces because she wanted to do something expressly for herself.
  • Aside from her personal work, she has done background artwork for shows like, Rick and Morty and Bojack Horseman.

“Living alone definitely has its moments. In fact, it can be downright awesome.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/illustrations-pictures-beauty-of-live-alone-single_us_599216a5e4b09096429945b8?section=us_divorce

One-On-One Opposite Sex Friendships: A Marriage Blind Spot

Opposite sexy friendships can always be tricky if one of you is in a relationship or both of you. Whomever you are in a relationship with or married to will always feel the need to compete with your friend. They may even feel threatened by them especially if they were friends before you all were married. The article simply states how opposite sex friendships can prevent a relationship from flourishing because that will will be in the way.

Key Takeaways:

  • It is important to consider that your marriage comes first and is more important than having an opposite sex friendship.
  • Opposite sex friendships usually don’t work and can hinder a marriage.
  • Focusing more on your marriage instead of gaining opposite sex friends can lead to a happier life.

“Declining your freedom for a greater cause can sometimes be difficult to do, especially if you’re married.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/clear-communication/201708/1-1-opposite-sex-friends-blind-spot-threat-marriage

Yes, You Can Affair-Proof Your Marriage

Infidelity in marriage is nearly as common as pure commitment according to some statistics, which means that most people face some sort of attraction outside the marriage bond. Being open and playful about attractions can create more intimacy. If the intimacy is an issue to begin with, communication is the key to creating more of it. Discussing feelings in a safe emotional environment about sex and closeness as well as your awareness of the sexuality of others is a fast way to significantly bring a couple closer.

Key Takeaways:

  • Statistic Brain Research Institute says the rate of marital infidelity is about 41 percent that one or both partners have admitted to infedlity.
  • Trying to affair-proof your marriage is not guarenteed it will work but taking thses steps put you less at risk to suffer from this.
  • Temptation will happen in marraiage. It is best to talk about theses temptaions and work through them before they come real.

“Relying on fear or becoming the sex detective who performs regular surveillance (aka stalking) distracts us from what we need to do.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/yes-you-can-affair-proof-your-marriage_us_598883c2e4b0bd8232029937?section=us_divorce

How Do We Decide Whether Or Not To Break Up?

Breaking up in a relationship can be one of the more stressful things a person can do in any given year. Scientists have decided therefore to test what sort of factors typically contribute themselves to the decision of whether or not to finally break up. The scientists found that the following factors: level of investment, social support network, responsiveness, self-expansion, and the expectations of the relationship itself are the most important factors that can sway whether a person stays or goes in a relationship.

Key Takeaways:

  • The motivation to ‘work it out’ for those in a difficult relationship can be directly proportional to how much each feels they have invested in it.
  • However, when escalating investment is met with diminishing return it could be sensible to end the investment.
  • A series of failed relationships can lead to a participant identifying rather too well with their role of failure, leading to a sense of shame.

“Anxiously attached individuals were more likely than others to report a greater number of reasons for both staying and leaving.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/experimentations/201708/how-do-we-decide-whether-or-not-break

Psychology Meets Divorce: You Think You’re Helping, Do You?

Divorce can be hard psychologically. It hurts to lose a partner. Life changes for you in a big way. You have to change the way you live. Finances will also change and that can be stressful. Not all people in the field can help you, though. It depends on the person and on their approach obviously. If you are feeling bad after a divorce you may want to seek help but don’t worry if the first person you find doesn’t work out.

Key Takeaways:

  • Most lawyers are out for blood and want to win over the well being of the mental state of their client.
  • There is a better way to approach divorce. Taking the time to talk it out and have open communication will work out better in the end.
  • The author clearly knows what their talking about. The article really hits home with someone that has had a similar situation that worked together to get through it.

“It never ceases to amaze me that people regularly contend that they can’t enter into a facilitative approach because they’re in conflict with each other, can’t communicate with each other, and don’t trust each other.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/you-think-youre-helping-do-you_us_591622aee4b00ccaae9ea2b6?section=us_divorce

6 Prevalent Myths You’ll Hear About Divorce

Couples going through a divorce often find themselves inundated with well-meaning, but not always accurate advice from people around them who are anxious to help. Here are some of the most common myths we’ve uncovered surrounding divorce with the real story on concerns such as “Will I have to go to court?”, “Who gets the house and kids?”, and “What about my common law marriage?”. Bottom line? When in doubt, always seek the advice of an experienced solicitor.

Key Takeaways:

  • There are a lot of myths about divorce that many people assume to be true.
  • Even if a spouse has moved out of the house or their name isn’t on the mortgage, it could be considered an asset.
  • Not all divorces have to go through costly litigation, some divorces are completed through mediation.

“It can often seem that the husband always gets the raw end of the deal, only being allowed to spend time with the children every other weekend and at various weeks during the summer.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/six-prevalent-myths-youll-hear-about-divorce_us_598ae90ae4b08a4c247f26da?section=us_divorce