Category Archives: Commentary

When You’re A Good Friend To Others But A Terrible One To Yourself

You can be generous and compassionate to your friends but often, you neglect yourself. You instinctively reassure your friends who are I need but won’t do to yourself. You need to practice liking and accepting yourself. You need to be compassionate and understanding of failures. Letting yourself know that everyone fails some of the time. We all have the best friendship skills but essentially need to direct them inward towards ourselves and not always onto everyone else.

Key Takeaways:

  • Typically, we don’t apply the same level of compassion to ourselves that we offer to others.
  • To others, we like them as they are, focus on their strengths and remind them that failure is common to all – but we often fail to do this for ourselves.
  • We all have the ability to apply the self-help and compassion we offer to others to ourselves – we just have to look in the mirror and make ourselves do it.

“It’s ironic, yet essentially hopeful, that we usually know quite well how to be a better friend to near strangers than we know how to be to ourselves.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-be-a-better-friend-to-yourself_us_58d4393be4b03787d3568c29?section=us_divorce

Are Divorced Men Over 50 Anti-Second Marriage?

Many men in their 40s and 50s fear getting into another committed relationship because they don’t want to be burned a second time. The truth is some men commit again right away but those that stay single longer, will likely not want to get back into a relationship. You need to accept that it has happened an take the time to heal from divorce. You need to be open to new experiences that make you happy including love and relationships.

Key Takeaways:

  • The longer someone stays single after a divorce, the less likely they are to get remarried
  • Divorced people often live fulfilling single lives, but others avoid relationships because they fear being hurt again
  • It is important to work on healing after your divorce, and to accept that the future can surprise you in a good way

“If someone would have told me I wouldn’t be married again after 10 years of being divorced, I would never have believed them.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/are-divorced-men-over-50-anti-second-marriage_us_58e24940e4b03c2b30f6a85c?section=us_divorce

12 Inspiring Quotes From Celebrity Moms And Dads About Co-Parenting

Being a parent is tough enough, but being a parent who is going through a divorce, or is separated can be very hard. But, there are plenty of people who are separated and keep their kids happy and healthy. There are so many couples out there that are separated and have kids. It can seem like a tough situation, but you can make the best of it and raise your kids in a very positive environment.

Key Takeaways:

  • The most important thing is to make a good environment for the children.
  • Showing support for the other co-parent is essential to make a loving family.
  • It is very important to make the kids the number one priority in and put their happiness first.

“Our son comes first and you have to get past your own egos and you never talk bad about each other.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/quotes-from-celebrity-moms-and-dads-about-co-parenting_us_59384a54e4b0c5a35c9b5f02?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Making It Work: How Creative Couples Survive The Common Hurdles That Trip Others Up

There are lots of things which can hurt a relationship. It’s hard to stay together because of many hurdles. Couples have to try to get around them but it’s not easy. It takes creativity and a lot of effort. This gives some good ideas which couples can try. The couple also needs to communicate about problems so they can come up with solutions together. That is key. You can’t solve anything if you don’t talk about it.

Key Takeaways:

  • Save enough energy to devote time and effort to your relationship on a daily basis
  • Take joy in and celebrate your partner’s accomplishments and success
  • Make time to be with your partner, and communicate well when you are apart

“If you have two creative people, and especially two creative people who practice in the same medium, jealousy is a common issue. If one partner starts to achieve a level of success that the other has not yet been able to achieve, it is a very human emotion to feel pangs of jealousy, but it is also a very destructive feeling to have between the two of you.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/making-it-work-how-creative-couples-survive-the-common_us_591e04b4e4b07617ae4cba86?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

9 Strategies To Help Your Children Cope With Divorce

Thousands of kids experience the stress of divorce each year. How they react depends on their age, personality, and the circumstances of the separation and divorce process. Every divorce will affect the kids involved — and many times the initial reaction is one of shock, sadness, frustration, anger, or worry. Adults going through separation and divorce need support from friends, professionals, clergy, and family. But don’t seek support from your kids, even if they seem to want you to. Give kids enough information to prepare them for the upcoming changes in their lives.

Key Takeaways:

  • Parents dealing with the stress of divorce have to take time to deal with the stress the break up of the family is also having on the children.
  • Without necessarily getting into the nitty-gritty, it is important to be as honest as you can about the breakup with your kids.
  • Just as you’re grieving, allow your children to grieve in their own way.

“After informing your kids of your split, reassure them that although your marriage is ending, you will continue to be their parents no matter what.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/9-strategies-to-help-your-children-cope-with-divorce_us_592241f6e4b0b28a33f62d8f?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

4 Ways To Bring Self-Esteem to Your Romantic Relationship

The online version of a psychology magazine has published a guide to maintaining esteem for oneself while involved in a relationship. The person should establish her sense of identity, with her likes and dislikes well defined. She should not always defer to her partner in decisions, keeping to her position if she feels she is right. She should not be totally dependent on her partner, and should have interests and friendships outside of the relationship. She and her partner should do physical things together.

Key Takeaways:

  • Knowing and communicating your likes and dislikes can you have a better relationship and improve self esteem.
  • Having a fulfilling life outside of your relationship can help bolster self esteem and improve relationship satisfaction.
  • Exercising with your partner can boost self image and improve happiness within your relationship.

“When self-esteem is an issue, caving and deflecting become ways to manage conflict.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201705/4-ways-bring-self-esteem-your-romantic-relationship

3 Relationship Behaviors That Are Non-Negotiable Dealbreakers

Written in this article are three behaviors that should not be tolerated in any relationship. If you experience any of these you should get out as fast as you can. The first is obsessive control. You are your own person and should have freedom to be such. The second is emotional manipulation. You should not be made to feel guilty or shamed. The final is excessive aggression. Fights happen they are part of any relationship. When it is all you do or becomes physical it is time to get out.

Key Takeaways:

  • Unreasonable aggression is not acceptable. Everyone gets upset but you should not be threatened or worried about physical harm in a relationship.
  • You should not be emotionally controlled or manipulated. You are your own person and should be able to express yourself.
  • Obsessive control is a deal breaker. From what you wear to who you hang out with should be your choice.

“While you may think that emotionally shutting down is much better than outright physical or verbal abuse, this is actually a form of mental terrorism at it’s most insidious.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/3-relationship-behaviors-that-are-totally-non-negotiable_us_5903898ce4b084f59b49f8b4?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

You Don’t Appreciate Her Yet, But You’ll Regret It When Someone Else Does

A news website has a feature about breakups. The writer is the author of a book about this topic. She writes from the point of view of a man who took his significant other for granted, and now misses her after she found another man. The writer talks about how much the woman put into the relationship, her rejection, and her giving up and moving on. She then writes about how sad the man is feeling now that it is too late. An link to the book is included.

Key Takeaways:

  • You will be lonely and wish you did things differently when she is gone.
  • Communication is key she does not know what you are thinking if you don’t tell her.
  • She will find someone that loves her and makes her feel special. Do it yourself or someone else will.

“She doesn’t ask for attention, yet she gives you all of hers.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/you-dont-appreciate-her-yet-but-youll-regret-it-when_us_59073f17e4b03b105b44ba5b?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Daughter’s Thank You Letter To Single Mom Brought Them Both To Tears

This is a touching story. Being a single mom is hard work and takes a great deal of sacrifice so children never have to go without what they need. Children don’t often realize this until they grow up and have their own children. It’s nice to see this mother being appreciated by her daughter. It is definitely easy to understand while she got emotional. It was a very moving situation and she surely felt good.

Key Takeaways:

  • A girl named Gina finds a special way to thank her single mother for raising her alone.
  • As this single mother listens to her daughter express her gratitude in a written letter, both are brought to tears.
  • Despite the challenges she faced while raising two children, this single mother admits to doing it all “out of love.”

“Parenting is often a thankless job, but that’s especially true when you’re a single parent and doing it on your own, without the support of a partner.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/crying-at-this-letter-to-a-single-mom_us_590ba371e4b0104c734d68ae?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Can You Divorce Your Family?

The online version of a psychology periodical has a piece about negative relationships within the family. These relationships resemble divorce. The writer details three types of dynamics. One involves a family member being treated as an outcast. Another involves a child turning away from a parent, with or without encouragement from the other parent. This may happen in divorces. The third is a separation from a family member, perhaps due to abuse. The writer states that while there is hope for reconciliation, separation may be good in some cases.

Key Takeaways:

  • Being the black sheep makes you not want to be part of the family. Who wants to feel unwanted.
  • Estrangement occurs when a family member limits contact. This can be due to a number of reasons. But distance is placed.
  • Communication is the key with everyone involved. It is the lac of, type of or to much communication that drives a family member away. Communicate your needs.

“Recent research reports that 13.4 percent of parents are alienated by at least one of their children.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/conscious-communication/201704/can-you-divorce-your-family