Category Archives: Commentary

The 7 Most Common Mistakes People Make When They Get Divorced

Divorce can be an overwhelming process, and a lot of people going through divorce end up making mistakes that are easily avoidable. To avoid making mistakes that you’ll regret later, recognize that you’re in charge of the process, and you shouldn’t rely too much on your attorney. Be willing to compromise, and don’t take the process personally. Go into the divorce proceedings with an open mind and minimal expectations, and avoid jumping into a new relationship right away. Finally, don’t give up on trying to get a result that’s best for you.

Key Takeaways:

  • Learn from the good and bad experiences. Look for opportunities to grow.
  • Do not compromise. Know what you want and do not settle for less.
  • It is not all your fault. Don’t blame yourself that won’t change or fix anything.

“Too many people get hung up on their anger, resentment, and pain during the divorce process to focus on getting what they want. It’s all too easy to lash out when you, yourself, are in survival mode.”

Read more: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/laura-miolla/avoid-these-7-mistakes-caused-divorce-overwhelm

The Relationship Blind Spot That Could Tank Your Marriage

Pastor John Gray warns that a major relationship hurtle couples need to deal with is thinking that they can maintain their friendships without changes once they get married. Grey also beleives that opposite sex friendships especially will have to change. Grey posits that the spouse should take presidence over everyone. So even if you have a friend who is like family, if your spouse doesn’t like them, they have to be removed. He understands this is controversial. But its a point of contention he thinks should be removed from the relationship.

Key Takeaways:

  • Don’t assume you know how your partner is thinkin or feels ask.
  • Be carefull of being friends with the opposite sex. This can cause tension in a marriage.
  • Old friends do not take priority over marriahe. your spouse comes first.

“Deal with that blind spot, because that can became a very real point of contention later on.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-relationship-blind-spot-that-could-tank-a-marriage_us_58d2edc6e4b0b22b0d19a403?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Finding Treasure Among The Trash

There are things you can do after a divorce to give you perspective on the experience. Even it was a terrible experience there are treasures to be found. Even when there are moments when you think you won’t get through it, there are memories to hang onto. Like eating certain foods. Or going to the beach. Getting in contact with old friends. Smelling a certain scent. Taking up a hobby you had forgotten about. Whatever it is, it’s important to remember the small moments that make life worth living.

Key Takeaways:

  • life goes on. there will always be good times and bad times. Find happiness through all cycles.
  • Life rarely goes as planned. What you thought would happen rarely does. Enjoy the journey.
  • You choose weather you focus on the trash or find the treasure. Seek happiness.

“This year has taught me though that there is always treasure among the trash. There are always moments of happiness. It’s up to us to find them.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/finding-treasure-among-the-trash_us_58ebabe8e4b081da6ad00630?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

What Gave Jennifer Aniston ‘Total Peace’ After Her Divorce

After her divorce Jennifer Aniston had trouble staying in the moment and not obsessing about the past or the future. She discussed this on Oprah Winfrey’s program. She stated that she read all of the self help books. While intellectually she knew she needed to be in the moment, she couldn’t quite practice it in real life. Then one day in yoga it all clicked. She was with a friend and she felt in the moment and she was at peace.

Key Takeaways:

  • 2005 was the period when Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt broke up
  • Jennifer Aniston had a epiphany after a yoga session with her friends
  • She said that reading self help books can didn’t help that much. Only time healed the wounds.

“This idea of living in the present, … was a consistent theme in the various self-help books people had sent to her. Yet Aniston realized … that no books could speed up the process of finding peace.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-gave-jennifer-aniston-total-peace-after-her-divorce_us_58f7f21ce4b070a1174ffe17?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

One Way To Tell If Your Fights Are Unhealthy

Every couple fights. The key to fighting with a partner is making sure it is done in a healthy way. According to Pastor John Gray, unhealthy fights involve saying things to your partner because you know it will hurt them. it is important in a fight not to try to make your partner feel bad. if you have done that, step away so that each party can regain focus. then apologize and try to fight better next time. That is a healthy fight.

Key Takeaways:

  • When you purposely hit below the belt in a sense to hurt the other person
  • Allow your partner to be able to heal from the hurt you caused before you talk about the issue
  • Always but boundaries in an argument because this will let the other person understand your limits

“But it’s like shooting somebody in the thigh and then saying, Can you forgive me right now?’”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/one-way-to-tell-if-your-fights-are-unhealthy_us_58ebf9fae4b0c89f9120b9fd?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

What Gave Jennifer Aniston ‘Total Peace’ After Her Divorce

Jennifer Aniston went through a bad divorce with Brad Pitt back in 2005. She went on the Oprah Winfrey show right before the divorce was finalized and explained how she got through it. While doing yoga with some friends she had an “AHA” moment that put her at peace with where she was in her life and continued with the positive mind set moving forward.

Key Takeaways:

  • You can find peace even when your life is in chaos.
  • Her truth came suddenly “I don’t want to be anywhere other than where I am right now…”
  • It is a simple truth you can find in books but you have to live it to find how true it is.

“Aniston’s public break-up provided endless tabloid fodder, and people couldn’t seem to get enough of the salacious rumors surrounding the split. Though chaos appeared to swirl around her, a newly single Aniston appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” just a month before the divorce became final. As Aniston explained back then, she had a spiritual epiphany after a yoga session with a friend of hers.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-gave-jennifer-aniston-total-peace-after-her-divorce_us_58f7f21ce4b070a1174ffe17?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

One Way To Tell If Your Fights Are Unhealthy

Ever wonder if your arguments with your significant other mean you should break up for good or work it out? This piece shows the truth behind fights and the long road of your relationship. What it really means when you yell at one another and if you truly mean what you say during that anger.

Key Takeaways:

  • When you purposefully go out of bounds to harm the other individual with your words.
  • Allow your partner to heal from the wound before talking about forgiveness, Pastor John suggests.
  • You’ve got to put boundaries around your disagreements.

“Like many who have said mean things with the intention of hurting a partner, Pastor John says he would feel immediate regret for his words. “I would apologize and I would be sincerely remorseful,” he says.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/one-way-to-tell-if-your-fights-are-unhealthy_us_58ebf9fae4b0c89f9120b9fd?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Finding Treasure Among The Trash

The saying ‘one man’s trash is another man’s treasure’ is true up to a point but there are some things which are just pure trash, and this shows how you can tell which is and which things could actually be treasures. It can be nice to find something great when you aren’t expecting it so you might like this info.

Key Takeaways:

  • Originally when we split, we shared her time 50/50, and it was challenging making a life for myself when she was gone with dad.
  • This year has taught me though that there is always treasure among the trash. There are always moments of happiness. It’s up to us to find them.
  • Life goes in circles…cycles…nothing stays the same. And as long as I find treasure in the trash, I will be fine.

“This year has taught me though that there is always treasure among the trash.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/finding-treasure-among-the-trash_us_58ebabe8e4b081da6ad00630?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

The Relationship Blind Spot That Could Tank Your Marriage

This gives some very good and practical relationship advice. It tells you what to look out for. If you feel your marriage is in trouble this could be why so you should know what to look for. Many things can hurt marriages. This is obvious just from looking at the high divorce rate.

Key Takeaways:

  • blind spot seemingly harmless issues that can derail a marriage if you’re not careful
  • a blind spot that can ruin everything: thinking that you can maintain prenuptial friendships without any changes after marriage ― especially friendships with members of the opposite sex.
  • “Some spouses are okay with platonic friendships of the opposite sex, and others are not,”

“Deal with that blind spot, because that can became a very real point of contention later on.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-relationship-blind-spot-that-could-tank-a-marriage_us_58d2edc6e4b0b22b0d19a403?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

The 7 Most Common Mistakes People Make When They Get Divorced

quick summary of the articlehighlights how difficult divorce can be. it can be a confusing and emotional ordeal. at times hope and willingness to negotiate can ease the pain. But one can never let themselves to believe that their will be no pain. Your options into the process my take u into directions you never previously imagined. Many people believe that your lawyer is the only way to navigate this process . Though, a lawyer is a instrumental aspect to the process. lawyers primarily deal with the paperwork and legal aspect of a divorce. The emotional side of a divorce must be handled by other parties or yourself. in conclusion when getting a divorce. you must ride the wave but never give up. try to create a life as close to your life prior to the divorce.

Key Takeaways:

  • Ultimately, divorce is an overwhelming tidal wave of change that happens to you.
  • Rebuilding your life starts immediately and having a vision of what you want your life to be, during and after your divorce, will help you better navigate the divorce process.
  • Owning this process is tough. It requires you to fully be in it. And that is a lot of responsibility. Ultimately, you will regret it if you don’t.

“Too many people cling to their divorce attorney as if that were their only life raft. There are numerous other resources, though, that can also serve you during your divorce, including financial analysts, forensic specialists, therapists, and divorce coaches.”

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/laura-miolla/avoid-these-7-mistakes-caused-divorce-overwhelm