Category Archives: Commentary

How To Love A Messy Person When You’re A Neat Freak

Is your partner messy and disorganized while you crave neatness and order? There are effective to deal with this situation without your relationship coming to an end. Read ten tips gathered by marriage therapists and people who are in the same situation for insight into how to make your relationship work when your partner is at the opposite end of the neatness spectrum.

Key Takeaways:

  • Compromise is necessary when you have a messier partner.
  • Try to contain their mess over time.
  • Give your partner their own personal space to make messy.

“De-cluttering is so trendy right now, it’s easy to think people who drop their clothes on the floor or treat furniture as filing cabinets are morally inferior to those who crave order. But before you start in with your lecture on how messiness is the root of all evil, consider this: your need to have things tidy and organized might actually be making your partner anxious.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-love-a-messy-person-when-youre-a-neat-freak_us_58b6fe25e4b0284854b31ea2?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Divorcing and Coparenting With the Sociopath

Divorce can be a hard road, and when there are children involved, divorce is never the end of the relationship. There is still the relationship of co-parenting. Not really a problem when both parents are responsible and sane people. Unfortunately, it only takes one parent to mess things up. Dealing with a sociopath can seem impossible, as Susan J. Elliot knows very well. She offers five ways that you can protect yourself from a sociopath when getting divorced.

Key Takeaways:

  • Divorce is hard enough without feeling re-victimized by the system you’re depending on to protect you from someone who has harmed you.
  • It’s helpful to understand the pathology because compromise is often futile and they attack in creative ways using anything they can.
  • A sociopath has “Anti-social” Personality Disorder which doesn’t mean they are withdrawn or shy but that they do not abide by decent person behavior standards set up by society.

“The five-by-five program is one that is quite popular among those who are looking to gain a high amount of strength and muscle mass.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/getting-back-out-there/201702/divorcing-and-coparenting-the-sociopath

What NOT to Do When You Discover Your Partner Is Cheating

If you discover you’re being cheated on many actions may occur to you, most of which are probably illegal or at least unwise. It’s important to keep your head no matter how bad it hurts, though, and this will help you by outlining what you should definitely not do upon the discovery.

Key Takeaways:

  • Here are 5 ways to NOT react when you discover your partner is cheating on you.
  • the chemicals associated with panic make us ache to take action, what we really need to do is take a breather.
  • Resist the impulse to figure out, analyze and scrutinize, the person your love is cheating on you with.

“The shock of discovering an affair can make you want to pull up the blankets and hide from the world.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201702/what-not-do-when-you-discover-your-partner-is-cheating

Divorce – When Should Family and Friends Get Involved? – Beliefnet

Divorces can be a very stressful event to go through. There are many things that need to be taken into account when it happens. Friends and families are left on the sideline trying to figure out what went wrong. If they see that the kids are getting hurt, they have a right to get involved.

Key Takeaways:

  • In divorce, my family and friends have gotten involved. They have done their due diligence in putting family first and most importantly my children first.
  • Family and friends comprise the checks and balances in our lives and cheer for us when we shine and caution us when we falter.
  • Families get involved WHEN NECESSARY. And if a divorcing person is reaching out because they are scared for their children then they listen.

“Family and friends comprise the checks and balances in our lives and cheer for us when we shine and caution us when we falter.”

http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/howgreatthoupart/2017/02/divorce-family-friends-get-involved.html

Gospel Songs Helped Reba McEntire After Divorce – ABC News

With religion being a big part of American lives, most people can agree faith could restore hope and strength to even the biggest names in Hollywood. This chart-topping country singer will be releasing her newest album, a product of her devastating divorce two years prior, to share her journey and level of trust in God.

Key Takeaways:

  • Country star Reba McEntire’s first-ever gospel record helped her get through a rough patch in her personal life.
  • The Country Music Hall of Fame singer is releasing “Sing it Now: Songs of Faith & Hope” on Friday, a double album of inspirational and gospel music.
  • She said the timing was right for her to focus on her faith after she and husband Narvel Blackstock announced in 2015 that they were divorcing after 26 years of marriage.

“Country star Reba McEntire’s first-ever gospel record helped her get through a rough patch in her personal life.”

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory/gospel-songs-helped-reba-mcentire-divorce-45192840

Pediatricians can help children through separation and divorce – The Chronicle

Separation and divorce can be especially hard on children, who often have a lingering sense of loss after the dissolution of their parents’ relationship. This issue has not gone unnoticed by the American Academy of Pediatrics, who have recently issued guidelines to pediatricians to help children remain healthy and positive following their parents’ separation .

Key Takeaways:

  • Pediatricians can support children whose parents are going through a divorce by maintaining positive, neutral relationships with both parents, according to a new clinical report.
  • “The pediatrician can help parents understand their children’s reactions to divorce or separation,” said one of the lead authors.
  • Children’s reactions will also vary according to their temperament and their parents’ ability to focus on their needs and feelings.

“Many children show behavior changes in the first year of parent separation.”

http://www.chroniclenewspaper.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20170129/NEWS01/170129997/0/FUNANDGAMES04/Pediatricians-can-help-children-through-separation-and-divorce

The Emotions of Grief After A Breakup

The loss of someone close to us can quickly turn our world into an unfamiliar place. Coping with what used to be routine becomes exhausting. The simplest task may seem daunting. Grief affects us not only emotionally, but also physically. When we can understand how grief affects us, we are better equipped to deal with its grip. While we wish we never had to learn or understand these emotions, being aware of them may offer us comfort in our own times of sorrow.

Key Takeaways:

  • Sometimes when a breakup is sudden, it seems too much to deal with and the mind goes numb, shutting down and refusing to deal for a time. It could be a minute, a day, weeks or months.
  • If you are the person who did not see the breakup coming, the shock stage will probably last longer.
  • eview is a necessary part of the grief process. This can be upsetting because it may seem like you cannot stop thinking about your relationship or your ex.

“I am a certified grief counselor who has been doing this work for many years. I’m someone who believes describing grief work in “stages” is misleading. “Stages” seems to indicate that you go neatly from one to the next.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/getting-back-out-there/201701/the-emotions-grief-after-breakup

‘Romantic realism’: the seven rules to help you avoid divorce – The Guardian

We expect love to be the source of our greatest joys. But, in practice, it is one of the most reliable routes to misery. Few forms of suffering are ever as intense as those we experience in relationships. An estimated 42% of marriages in Britain end in divorce; 30% of people in couples describe themselves as “actively unhappy but unable to leave”.

Key Takeaways:

  • The new year can be gloomy – one in five divorces are filed in January. But we can at least try to understand our sorrows.
  • The problems begin because, despite all the statistics, we are inveterate optimists about how love should go.
  • We should accept from the outset that anyone we could be with will be very far from perfect.

“When difficulties strike in relationships, we often fall prey to the idea that we are going out with a particularly cretinous human. The sadness must be someone’s fault: and, naturally enough, we conclude that the blame has to lie with the partner.”

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/10/romantic-realism-the-seven-rules-to-help-you-avoid-divorce

The 9 Craziest Things People Discovered While Googling A Date

People can learn some strange things when they use Google, and some people have uncovered some very strange things when they have Googled their dates. One person found out that the other did not like books. Another person went on a date with someone and took a photo together and then found that photo on a dating site the next day. There are so many strange stories.

Key Takeaways:

  • Sometimes, you discover a little too much, though. Below, people share the most interesting thing they found while Internet-stalking before a date.
  • This is something I should have Internet-stalked before the first date, but didn’t find out until I looked two dates later! Turns out, my date wasn’t the single, 33-year-old, hardworking man he pretended to be
  • Everything checked out: he was athletic, a lawyer, and lived in my neighborhood. However, I couldn’t help notice he posted lots of photos of himself dressed as a lobster.

“Sometimes, you discover a little too much, though. Below, people share the most interesting thing they found while Internet-stalking before a date.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-9-craziest-things-people-discovered-while-googling-a-date_us_5887d191e4b0b481c76ba755?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

The Breakup Diet: The Weird Way Heartbreak Affects Your Appetite

Although heartbreak can affect people many ways, some people have a loss of appetite that leads to weight loss, this is known as the break-up diet. The stress from a break-up increasesd adrenaline levels in your body. Adrenaline can affect your immune system which originates in your intestines, so it should not be a surprise appetite is affected by a break-up, sometimes with an increase in appetite as ell. It is important to remember that it is not a healthy weight loss, it’s important however, to get into a healthy mindset about yourself before you try to change your food habits back to normal because you might run into problems otherwise

Key Takeaways:

  • Not hungry after your breakup? Negative thought patterns are probably to blame.
  • Although we all deal with them differently, many people have experienced the phenomenon as the “breakup diet.”
  • Considering that body and mind are connected, it makes sense that if you are upset that your body will be affected.

“It’s as if there is a connection between our stomachs and our hearts, and any food crossing our lips sends us into physical pain.”

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/marina%20pearson/breakup-diet-why-heartbreak-affects-our-appetite