Category Archives: Commentary

10 Ways to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage – POPSUGAR

Divorce is running rampant in our society. However, there is hope that that hope resides in our ability to change our ways and think outside of ourselves. There are many ways to make sure your partner gets everything they need. Strange as it is, leaving them alone is a good thing. Being separate and letting them have their space is essential to a long and happy marriage.

Key Takeaways:

  • Constantly making your partner “ask for permission” to do things makes your spouse feel as if you’re a parent, not a partner.
  • On some topics if the two of you are constantly butting heads, ask yourself if it’s really worth it to you to battle. Sometimes you need to agree to disagree and then let it die.
  • Married life gets boring, especially if it’s a nice, easy life together. This is a good sign, but be careful when you’re seeking excitement.

“Give your partner some space. Constantly making your partner “ask for permission” to do things makes your spouse feel as if you’re a parent, not a partner.”

http://www.popsugar.com/love/How-Divorce-Proof-Your-Marriage-43009554

‘Romantic realism’: the seven rules to help you avoid divorce – The Guardian

Are you one of those couples that are having a hard time with marriage but wanting to make it work? An estimated 42% of marriages in Britain end in divorce. If you are wanting to avoid this there may be some rules to follow. Start by accepting that no one is perfect and nothing is always perfect. You have to take the good with the bad. Realize that love makes irrational demands of your partner.

Key Takeaways:

  • The new year can be gloomy – one in five divorces are filed in January. But we can at least try to understand our sorrows.
  • The problems begin because, despite all the statistics, we are inveterate optimists about how love should go. No amount of information seems able to shake us from our faith in love.
  • One must conclusively kill the idea that things would be ideal with any other creature in this galaxy. There can only ever be a “good enough” relationship.

“The new year can be gloomy – one in five divorces are filed in January. But we can at least try to understand our sorrows. This does not magically remove problems, but it sets them in context, reduces our sense of isolation and helps us to accept that certain problems are normal.”

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/10/romantic-realism-the-seven-rules-to-help-you-avoid-divorce

The 9 Ways To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

It is hard for some of us to imagine others who have been divorced and remarried. There are people out there who have been three or more times. Sometimes, it becomes a pattern, but there are the cases where they end up finding that perfect someone on the third attempt at marriage. How does this happen? Usually, they get comfortable with the first and second person and marry out of obligation to build a family. When the third partner comes around, they often break their pattern and learn to be with someone that compliments them.

Key Takeaways:

  • The most important thing is to maintain a sense of intimacy and connection, and to not let your anger build up to the point where you have grievances and grudges and can’t reconcile the conflict.
  • Make a point to say hello with a kiss when you come home from work — not just a quick peck on the cheek — to truly say hello and convey good feeling and happiness at seeing your partner at the end of the day.
  • Studies have shown that couples headed for divorce often name call and get nasty during arguments.

“The most important thing is to maintain a sense of intimacy and connection, and to not let your anger build up to the point where you have grievances and grudges and can’t reconcile the conflict.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-9-ways-to-divorce-proof-your-marriage_us_5876a1cce4b0f8a72544848b?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Talk to a divorce lawyer now; avoid pain later – WTOP

If you’re going through a difficult marital situation and you are dealing with stress or fear of what could happen, I recommend that you take an hour or two and spend time with a knowledgeable domestic relations attorney who can answer your questions and help you understand the process and the law. Once you have gained an understanding of the likely scenarios you will be better able to decide what is best for you and your family.

Key Takeaways:

  • There are various reasons why I always recommend that someone talk to a lawyer, even if a divorce is not eminent.
  • The main reason is the old saying that knowledge is power. It can also be a great source of peace.
  • I have met with many clients who have been misinformed by a spouse or a third party about what will happen if a marriage ends in a divorce whether in property, support or custody areas.

“The main reason is the old saying that knowledge is power. It can also be a great source of peace. I have met with many clients who have been misinformed by a spouse or a third party about what will happen if a marriage ends in a divorce whether in property, support or custody areas.”

http://wtop.com/shoun-bach/2017/01/talk-to-a-divorce-lawyer-now-avoid-pain-later/

10 Happy Reminders Of Why Divorce Is Sometimes A Beautiful Thing

Not every relationship ends with a happily ever after ending. But just because a relationship has ended doesn’t mean that it has to be a sad occasion. On the contrary, divorce can sometimes be a blessing. Divorce can enhance one’s feelings of independence, strengthen other relationships, encourage emotional growth, and allow time to focus on other aspects of life. Just because a relationship is over doesn’t mean your life is!

Key Takeaways:

  • Perhaps it was having more opportunity or need, but I met a lot of people post-divorce and made a lot of friends. Support also comes from the legions of divorced people. They write and talk about divorce.
  • Relationships can be stifling. It was far too easy for me to subjugate my aspirations to those of my partner and child. It was easy to act out the wife and mother roles I inherited from my family.
  • People tried to tell me when to date, when not to date, what to do about my kid, what not to do about my kid, what to do in new relationships and what not to do.

“After the necessary period of wallowing, I started doing things that made me happy. I ran more. I began studying life coaching and started practicing yoga.”

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/judith-tutin/my-top-10-post-divorce-lessons-expert

The Anxious Lover: Stop Feeling Insecure And Get The Love You Crave

One of the worst things there can be for relationships is insecurity. It can be a crazy cycle of love and disappointment. Will this can be a serious problem it is possible to break this cycle. You need to be secure in yourself to make you and your lover feel good about the relationship.

Key Takeaways:

  • I manipulated an ex-girlfriend once. Years ago, when I was in a toxic relationship with someone I loved, I lied to get a reaction out of her.
  • I told her I was going to watch her soccer game, but I never showed. It was something very out of character for me to do.
  • Throughout the year of our relationship, I always had the feeling that I was investing more into our relationship than she was.

“Extensive research on intimate relationships have shown that people behave in very predictable ways when we are in love.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kyle-benson/the-anxious-lover-stop-fe_b_13837330.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce

4 Reasons to End Contact With an Ex After You Break Up

A breakup is never easy, there are hurt feelings and anger between two people. Sometimes people chose to stay in contact after a nasty breakup, but this is not always the best idea. There are many good reason to end communication after a breakup, for your sake and your ex partners.

Key Takeaways:

  • Ending a relationship is difficult, but the painful feelings are not permanent.
  • You will feel sad, you will feel angry, you will feel a sense of shock that your life has taken this turn.
  • Eventually, if you allow it, a kind of acceptance will come into your life. However, if you persist in contacting or attempting to contact your ex, you are working against the recovery process and in favor of a self-defeating strategy of denial.

“Ending a relationship is difficult, but the painful feelings are not permanent. You will feel sad, you will feel angry, you will feel a sense of shock that your life has taken this turn.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201612/4-reasons-end-contact-ex-after-you-break

How Eye Contact Brings You Together (or Pulls You Apart)

Eye contact can be a sign of distrust or aggression. But it can also be a sign of endearment, adoration, or love. The context of the social situation determines the malevolence or benevolence of eye contact. The duration of eye contact can fluctuate depending on confidence. Someone who is less confident will not linger as long as a more confident individual. Eye contact can also be a bonding mechanism. Unfortunately, it’s this type of personal bonding that’s being threatened by electronic communication such as social media and texting.

Key Takeaways:

  • Eye contact can be a friendly social signal.
  • While eye contact may be a sign of connection or trust in friendly situations, it’s more likely to be associated with dominance or intimidation in adversarial situations.
  • A more direct finding is that people who scored highly for negative emotions like anxiety looked at others for shorter periods of time and reported more comfortable feelings when others did not look directly at them.

“”Eye contact and smiles” can signal availability and confidence, a common-sense notion supported in studies by psychologist Monica Moore.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/neuro-behavioral-betterment/201609/how-eye-contact-brings-you-together-or-pulls-you-apart

Hollywood’s Go-To Divorce Lawyers Reveal the Secrets of High-Profile Splits – Vanity Fair

Have you ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes in a celebrity divorce? I can tell you that the red carpet of divorce is littered with strange pre-nups, unnecessary amounts of media coverage, and normal people just trying to get on with their lives. Lawyers become very familiar with their clients in a short amount of time, learning about sex lives, personal details, and other bizarre facts that are irrelevant to the case. See how these lawyers handle their clients’ cases and be stunned by the backstage facts of these high-profile divorces.

Key Takeaways:

  • Because California’s a no-fault state, you cannot base any kind of a pre-nuptial agreement on somebody’s behavior
  • Contrary to Some Misconceptions, It’s Not the Lawyer’s Job to Encourage Pre-nups
  • One challenge, for lawyers working for the biggest stars, is that their client is used to getting his/her way.

“My job is to do what is necessary to create an agreement that will be enforceable if and when they split up in the future, and save them some money and aggravation later.”

http://www.vanityfair.com/style/2016/09/hollywood-divorce-lawyers-reveal-the-secrets-of-high-profile-splits

Polygamy and divorce on the rise in war-torn Syria – The Times of Israel

This article is about a divorce that may take place between the power couple The Wests, Kim and Kanye. Kanye was not pleased with the Kardashian family and there refusal to attend his fashion show, this is one of many things that has been leading up to a potential divorce between the two.

Key Takeaways:

  • With thousands of Syrian men dying on the front lines, and others forced into exile or simply disappearing, the rates of divorce and polygamy in Syria are on the rise.
  • Polygamy pre-dates Islam in the Middle East but was incorporated into the religion. Sunni Muslim men are permitted to take four wives on the condition that they treat them equally.
  • For many women, the decision to wed an already married man is born of economic hardship.

“”We have more women than men here. Four friends and I decided to take widowed women as second wives to protect their reputations””

http://www.timesofisrael.com/polygamy-and-divorce-on-the-rise-in-war-torn-syria/