Category Archives: Divorce Mediation

What to do if a partner doesn’t co-operate for divorce mediation?

My parents are getting divorced and have just received the decree nisi today.

My mum is filing it against my dad for reasons of unreasonable behaviour, and he is trying everything in his power to drag the whole thing out for as long as possible -.-

Now because they don’t have endless amounts of money, my mum wanted to try mediation (which my dad agreed to – even his solicitor said his agreement is in writing) but my dad hasn’t contacted the mediator back when the mediator has sent him a few letters and such, so I was just wondering if my mum can take some sort of action to physically make him go to the mediator to sort finances etc out as she doesn’t really want to make it as expensive going through the solicitor?

Any help is greatly appreciated.
I should probably say that my mum is the one with all the money – hence why my dad wants to drag the divorce out.

So he won’t care if my mum has to go to the solicitors as all the money that he spends, is my mum’s anyhow :/ he’s a dick basically..
Wendy – I will not ‘stay out of this’ as everything my idiot dad does affects the whole family, and I am the only one there to help my mum as he backstabs everyone and lies -.-

Yes I am in the UK, I can tell her your info and see what she says if she speaks to her solicitor.

Gary – No I/she didn’t mean that she did have control over him (believe me he does what he likes!) but he cheats, goes out to places and says he’s going to a friend’s (when he’s not), doesn’t help around the house (just sits on his pc 24/7), doesn’t/hasn’t cared for me or my brother, spends endless amounts of money on going out, buying expensive items and alcohol with my mum’s money..seriously i could go on..but the other thing is my mum can’t even take the money out of the bank account as it is used for the mortgage and she can’t change the joint names to just hers as she would need his signature (even though he changed one of their joint accounts to just his name cos his "friend" set it up or something)
But yes

Sounds like you are in the U.K.? If it is like the States ( a lot is) Mum could actually file a motion to compel mediation.

Where can I find free divorce mediation?

I live in Cypress, Texas right near Houston. My zip code is 77429. The divorce should be clean & not too difficult so I’d like to avoid a lawyer if possible. Is there some way my wife and I can agree to everything, have it notarized and just be done?

If you and your wife agree on everything as you say, you don’t need mediation. You can get the necessary paperwork from your county courthouse, and complete it yourself. (There’ll be small fees to "file" the paperwork.)

You can also get forms at www.nolo.com for this.

Be aware, however, that most jurisdictions want specific information depending upon your property, debts, and children, if any. For example, a part of most divorce filings is a "parenting plan", specific to the needs of the children.

You’ll also probably have specific requirements to meet to qualify for a divorce, e.g. living in separate domiciles for one year. (States do not encourage divorce, and always hope for reconcilation, so they often want to see that there’s a legitimate reason for the divorce itself.)

Good luck to you both.

Are there any surprises I should be ready for in a divorce mediation?

I have a mediation on Friday. My wife and I have a 16 month old daughter. No property. No savings left after her debt sent us into a bankruptcy. Nada.

Any surprises I should be aware of?

We did buy a new car about 6 months ago, under her name (the bankruptcy actually gave me worse credit than her). She asked for that car back a couple months ago. The nutshell version of that sotry goes as follows: I found out she had an affair, I climbed in a window of the house to confront her and the new guy. I introduced myself and we all sat on the bed as I asked her to go see a marriage counselor so our daughter wouldnt grow up in a broken home. She hit me with a stalking restraining order and in during the hearing she told the judge she wanted the car back. I have a feeling she is going to try to stick me with the car…. I am pretty sure I am fine but I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

Thanks everyone!

just let go of any hope that this relationship is going to work. this woman is a sucking you dry, man.

i know there are two sides to every story, but jeez. that’s awful behavior.

i think you should keep your distance from her, she seems like a walking volcano.

i wouldn’t want your daughter to witness just her relationship or behavior as being normal. find a nice young woman who makes you happy, who brings out your best and bring out her best.

How to deal with feelings of rage after divorce mediation?

I went thru mediation yesterday with my ex spouse. Our marriage was a sham created by her and her manipulation and abuse and greed. Yesterday I had to contend with her pompous attitude and the "I’m getting away with everything" attitude. How do I resolve these feelings of rage?/
Hey Gia,
It’s nothing about a broken heart. No one was more glad to see her gone than me. It’s the dealing with the sociopathic side of her, the willingness to lie, to be underhanded and back stabbing, the willngness to deny the truth and say anything under oath without remorse is unbelievable to me. I am glad that it’s over and that I’ll be moving on however the situation has enraged me, the abuse I received for 15 years, the manipulation, the dominition efforts used upon me are very hard to deal with. I will not do anything to cause myself trouble. It is just the idea that there are people who will indeed and are capable of doing anything without guilt. That’s what is bothering me the most.
That plus the knowledge that I should have been able to recognize her for what she was in the beginning and I didn’t.

I agree with seeing a therapist because you didn’t do anything wrong and it will take some time. Be thankful you are free of her. take deep breaths and go out with the guys. She will get hers in the end Karma has a way of dealing with things and it will kick her rear. the nest guy she does her little games can get dangerous. I understand what a broken heart is all about. Not all women are like that and soon you will meet a nice lady that will treat you like the good man you are. Just son’t go getting even out of emotion. Be glad to be rid of her. And this is coming from a woman.

I was wondering if anyone knows anything about mediation,not divorce mediation PLEASE READ ALL THE WAY?

I am involved in a probate case for almost 4 years now ,we’ve been through virtual adoption ,appeals court and possibility of fighting of the will,Well 3 months ago my attorney told me that ,the other side in the case wants to mediate we agreed on the condition that the {supposed} litigant that is fighting us be there in person, we’ve yet to know for sure the person is totally aware of exactly of what is going on we’ve never seen or spoke to them ,I found out about 30 days ago that there may be a "representative" in her place ,My question is don’t I have the legal right to know the identity of this person (in writting ) before the mediation and the reason for the representitave being there ,and can I refuse ,if so how long do I have,I’m pretty sure I can’t refuse at this point being as the mediation is in 1 week in another part of the state,I can’t seem to get my attorney on the phone face to face to ask what exactly is going on,thank you in advance,
Thank you ,My attorney was notified from their attorney that there is a possibility that there would be a representative ,but gave no reason or whom it would be ,and yes I know my attorney is very busy and I have talked to his paralegal,she never seems to know anything and promises to find out certain things and let me know but I never get a return call from her either,Don’t get me wrong I like my attorney I just need some information before the last minute ,And again thank you for your help
one more little foot note ..should we prevail in this mediation ,can we sue the other party for financial loss lawyer fees etc.I was told I can but my lawyer won’t do it I don’t blame him he’s had my case for a long time and pu a lot of time and effort into it
To Denver Mediator: Thank you also for your curtious response ,yes the mediation was court ordered after all parties agreed to the mediation ,we are to mediate in the opposing party’s attorney’s office This has been a long hard frustrating process I don’t want to fire my attorney for many reasons he’s been my attorney he was hired by my dad before his passing and he really is an excellent attorney when it comes done down to it ,and when we have had to confront things head on he always comes through ,he has been brutally honest about knowing he doesn’t return calls or inform me properly,I thank you for giving me the point of view from where you are (mediation) I’ve been through divorce mediation and it was simple ,the other party set up the time ,the place ,the mediator,and I find out today they want to postpone,I don’t get it this was their idea they have been doing this kind of thing 4 years,I want to be fair and have all along ,but just get slaped at every turn

First of all, mediation is strictly voluntary. Even if it is court ordered, there is nothing stopping you from simply walking away from a process that you feel is unfair to you. If it’s court ordered, you would simply walk away and when the judge asks you in court, you would just politely tell the judge what happened and why you withdrew and that you prefer the court hear the matter. Any party can walk away from any mediation at any time, that’s one of the great things about mediation.

You have the legal right to know who will or will not show up in a mediation, and the other party by the same token has the right to attempt to play games or withhold information they do not want to impart upon you. Again, this can be a deal breaker for you, if you wish it to be. You can refuse the mediation process at any time, on any date, for any reason. These are options within your legal rights, plain and simple.

Your lawyer not returning phone calls and/or e-mails sounds simply like professional and/or lack of interest, depending upon how much time you gave him or her to respond. Typically 24 hours to get back to someone regarding an important legal matter, especially where that party is on retainer and being paid a handsome sum to behave professionally, is more than sufficient reasonable time to respond. My personal opinion would be to fire the lawyer if s/he doesn’t return calls given reasonable time. Keep all receipts of all transactions and all phone records, and keep them in a nice little file, but you can fire your lawyer at any time just as you can walk away from any mediation you feel is unfair or biased against your interests.

I’m not a lawyer and can’t provide legal advice, but in this case, I’m giving you a) my personal opinion on proper behavior and conduct, and b) giving you options and choices based on information I’m aware of from experience. You have final say in what happens, and that’s as it should be.