After a break up, the pain can lead to debilitating self-criticism. You need to stop beating yourself up in order to move on. Reconnect with who you are as an individual and set goals for yourself to achieve on your own. Don’t have unrealistic expectations, love can be complicated not straight forward. Take what you learned about yourself from your ex and put a positive spin on it, even if it means self-improvement. Also just remember, in the far future this relationship will likely not matter to you, focus on that.