We all fail at relationships, for many reasons. A giant consideration for most is a fear of failing. It’s there at every stage of the relationship drama and it can prevent us from pulling out of a doomed or icky situation.
The biggest fear we all have relationship-wise is that we will fail to ever find a Mr. or Ms. Right. So, we grab onto Mr. or Ms., okay, because we doubt our
instincts, our appeal, and perhaps our ability to live alone.
Fear of failure can also mean a huge investment in winning, as in I will make her see things my way, or I will become who he needs me to be. All that proving of yourself blinds you as to whether the union is really worth it. Lastly, if it all goes away, you think you failed, when in fact it takes two to tango and it may not have been worth saving.
- Even when our antennae alert us that a person isn’t the one, we still go for it, afraid to end up alone.
- At times we work hard at proving our worthiness to a partner, rather than admitting his, or her, standards are the problem.
- Many of us would rather keep trying to make over ourselves, or the other person we are in a union with, rather than call it quits.
“Too many people stay in dysfunctional, unhappy, and even abusive relationships simply because they equate walking away with personal failure.”