In today’s society, while people often dismiss others for trivial or shallow reasons, it is not uncommon to keep people in one’s life who has a long running hurtful or harmful personality trait. These traits can be something as simple as thoughtlessness or negligence. While there is no clear answer, there are several theories about why people allow individuals in their lives that have these harmful qualities.
- while sometimes we are very quick to reject dates and partners for seemingly trivial reasons, other times we go to the opposite extreme and are too willing to overlook major flaws
- By the time these traits do appear, we may already be enamored with the more superficial aspects of the person.
- After we do notice the harmful behavior, it is easy to tell ourselves that these negative personality traits will change over time.
“By the time these traits do appear, we may already be enamored with the more superficial aspects of the person—including their lack of any obvious minor flaw that would immediately pop out at us.”